January 14, 2005
If only we had the time

News parodies from today's headlines:

Probe Lands on Saturn Moon; Finds King County Ballots

Rapper sues Governess Gregoire: copyright infringement using stage name "LudaChris"

Blood Pressure Rising Nationwide: Republican "attack machine" implicated

WA announces plan to expand voter opt-out program for the dead: signatures of deceased required

Notorious Atheist Prays for Lawsuit Victory

Posted by Brian Crouch at January 14, 2005 09:42 PM | Email This
Comments
1. Haha! Those are great!

I especially like the required signatures of the deceased.

Very clever.

Posted by: Cyd on January 14, 2005 09:56 PM
2. I like the atheist "prayer" for lawsuit victory - yeah!

Posted by: TADD on January 14, 2005 10:21 PM
3. Dear Miss Governor:

My deceased father, who previously voted in only one precinct each election, would like to vote in several next time. Would it be considered proper for him to make reservations for several provisional ballots at the same time he registers in additional precincts? Or would that be seen as a little piggish? Also, how can he ensure that his provisional ballots will go straight into the counting machine, rather than being subjected to that dreadful verification delay? Finally, will the fact that he was -- I mean is -- a felon have any bearing on these matters?

Sincerely, Curious in King County.


Gentle Reader:

Miss Governor is inclined to believe that your question is sincere, even though it displays a charming, yet startlingly naive, tone of ignorance. As you know, Miss Governor, who believes that every vote should be counted, would tend to cheer your father on in his quest for civic responsibility. In addition, Miss Governor sees from your signature, that you live in one of the most progressive counties in the nation, in terms of access to voting. Unfortunately, however, she is unable to give you a definite answer, because you have omitted the most important information of all: For which party does your deceased father, in all his electoral manifestations, intend to vote?

Yours, Miss Governor

Posted by: Boonie on January 14, 2005 10:45 PM
4. I loved the Saturn Moon one.

Posted by: Difranco on January 14, 2005 10:45 PM
5. Boonie,

Very funny. I love it!

Posted by: Miriam on January 14, 2005 11:17 PM
6. Miss Manners is much more electable, Boonie.

(Good job!)

Posted by: Bleeding heart conservative on January 14, 2005 11:18 PM
7. What with the slop factor being off the charts at King county, sadly you probably COULD find a King County ballot on Saturn

Posted by: Michele S on January 14, 2005 11:48 PM
8. Whatever happened to those ballots that were sent to Alaska?

Did we get them back? Has anyone checked to see who they belonged to and how they got sent out of state?

I understand that many of our returned absentee ballots were sent to numerous states for some reason....

Any updates on this?

Posted by: Deborah on January 14, 2005 11:52 PM
9. OK..I found the story..
Washington officials said they were Provisional Ballots...This is a snip from the Seattle Times story of Dec 24th,2004:

"98 ballots end up where?

By David Postman and Ralph Thomas

Seattle Times staff reporters


E-mail this article


Alaska's elections director said yesterday she has 98 uncounted ballots from Washington's Nov. 2 election and would like to send them back here.

Dino Rossi's campaign wants to see them.

Washington officials say the ballots were cast as provisional ballots by people who said they were Alaska residents, and then the votes were sent north. Provisional ballots are given to voters on Election Day when they go to polling places other than their own, or their names don't appear in lists of registered voters.

Washington, with one of the country's most liberal provisional-ballot laws, sends ballots to the voter's home state in hopes they can be counted in the presidential election, said Washington's director of elections, Nick Handy.

"I actually had a number of calls from election directors from around the country that said, 'Why am I getting provisional ballots from Washington?' " Handy said.

In Juneau, Alaska Director of Elections Laura Glaiser said a quick look at the 98 ballots found one showing an Alaska mailing address but a place of residence in Tacoma.

Handy and Glaiser said that could qualify as a Washington vote if the voter were properly registered here........"

The story goes on to say that Rossi's group was making calls around the country to see if other states received ballots from Washington...They found some in Idaho as of the date of the story.....

Chaos!

Posted by: Deborah on January 15, 2005 12:08 AM
10. Bill Huennekens told me he was trying to get GEORGIA to accept a Washington resident's ballot to vote for president 'because she didn't get her absentee ballot'. Well whose fault was that, MR. HUENNEKENS??? And why should Georgia accommodate this WA resident's vote for prez?

Posted by: Michele S on January 15, 2005 10:48 AM
11. I didn't explain that clearly. HE was trying to get Georgia to let the woman vote for prez and have them send the ballot to Washington so she could have her presidential ballot counted. Georgia said "up yours, pal", thank goodness. Why should Georgia accommodate a WA resident who didn't get her ballot from Huennekens?

Posted by: Michele on January 15, 2005 10:52 AM
12. How was Georgia supposed to know if she hadn't voted in Washington?

Posted by: Kevin on January 15, 2005 11:45 AM
13. Two thumbs up!!!

The way to get the Revolution cooking is to create simple slogans that will be easily picked up by the media, but convey the deepest meaning behind our movement.

"Every vote should have a voter" is good, but there are better one's out there! To be effective, our protestor's need something intelligent to cheer behind, but simple enough to hammer over and over!

Suggestions???


Posted by: CR ACTIVIST on January 15, 2005 12:07 PM
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