Announcing the Dow Constantine Poetry Contest! Give us your best stuff. Dow supporters welcome too.
Here's a picture and one entry to get you started.
There once was a nautical dream
Which required a political scheme
"Without votes for my boats, Kent houses will float"
Emailed Councilman Constantine
UPDATE: The Contest will close at 5pm today. The winner's poem will be posted tomorrow.
And all of my money was spent.
I voted for Dow
Now I have to buy a scow
and that is how it went.
the end.
Posted by: patheticpiper on October 25, 2009 03:02 PMThe Times is digging into the story
Of the guy they call Councilman Horny
That famous West Seattle Progressive
With manners just a little regressive
His partner at home was not enough
So of course at work he found it tough
To keep eye and hand in proper bound
Did Mr. Councilman Skirt Hound
For flirty words or copping a feel
Fair game was all staff wearing heels
So he ogled and ogled and hit on
Till some of the girls felt a bit s*** on
It's not a pretty picture to paint
'Cause two staffers filed complaints
Not little ones but kinda big
Against Mr. Male Chauvinist Pig
But our guy handled it with a grin
All it took was some grease and spin
He said "I never meant to harass,
Really - all I did was ****** her A**!"
The doors are closed, the files are locked
The clock goes tick, the clock goes tock
Around and around the Times does nose
Will anyone tell when everyone knows?
If you know more about this nasty jerk
Hitting on women while he's at work
Send an email, or drop some dimes
to call those reporters at the Times!
Keith Ervin: 206-464-2105kervin@seattletimes.com
Bob Young: 206-464-2174 byoung@seattletimes.com
a tale of a fateful row.
That started from this Emerald port,
aboard this tiny ship Dow.
The mate was a slightly sailing dude,
the skipper brave and demure.
Few passengers set sail every day,
for a half hour tour.
a half hour tour.
The weather started getting rough,
the Dow's tiny ship was tossed.
If not for the courage of the fearless crew,
the election would be lost,
the election would be lost.
The ship took ground on the shore of this
uncharted Vashon isle,
with Dowigan, the skipper too, aka Gossett
The millionaire, aka Phillips and his wife, who knows today
The movie star, aka Patterson
The professor, not at King County and MaryAnn, Jannie Hague here on Dowigans Isle.
So this is the tale of our throw aways,
they're here for a long, too long time.
They'll have to make the best of things,
it's an downhill climb.
The first mate, who knows for Dow and his skipper too,
will do their very best
to make the others uncomfortable
in this moldy island nest.
No Phones, No lights, No Motorcars,
Not a single luxury.
Like Robinson Crusoe
It's primitive as can be, or the way they think
So join us here each week, my friend,
you're sure to get a smile,
from seven stranded castaways,
Here on Dowigan's Isle!
is one no tax payer wants to repeat
The subsidy alone still makes us all groan
That bully should go down in defeat Posted by: Argh Argh! on October 25, 2009 04:50 PM
Two men in County King
Named Ron and Gary
left a mess so hairy
they both fled to DC.
Dow why not make it three?
Posted by: travis t on October 25, 2009 04:53 PMtruths assault,
Just yell and scream,
"It's Susan's fault!"
Burqa Shave
Posted by: WA farm boy on October 25, 2009 05:22 PMThe things you tell of such great lore
Now, is it really true?
A mistress, or a slew?
Unbecoming Dow, what a w*ore!
Posted by: TellMeMore on October 25, 2009 07:52 PM
With wandering hands - quite impressive
As with most jerks, his hands wandered at work
Now his political future's Regressive! Posted by: BehindDoor#5 on October 25, 2009 08:18 PM
who lost but he didn't know how
he thought the fix was quite in
but amid all the din
it was Susie who emerged with the grin. Posted by: travis t on October 26, 2009 01:10 AM
A liberal politician in the image of Chairman Mao,
He'd confiscate rural lands without a second look,
The only thing he lacked was a little red book.
Communism that is, reeducation camps, people not free.
Well the first thing you know ol Dow is on the air,
Talking down the truth and poofin up his hair,
Said "All you folks better listen to me"
Or the county will sink and fall into the sea.
Puget Sound, that is. Ivar's signs and octopi.
Well now its time to say good by to Dow and all his ilk.
And we would like to keep those folks from citizen's they'd bilk.
You're all invited back a gain to this locality
To have a heapin helpin of their liberality.
Socialism that is. Set a spell, Take your shoes off.
Y'all come back now, y'hear?.
Posted by: Chairman Dow on October 26, 2009 02:42 AMA tale that's giving me a fateful trip
That started from this fine glass of 24-year-old port
Come aboard and ride in my ship
Who wanted taxes to fund his scows
He sent out a missive like a scud
Vote for my measure or King Co floods. Posted by: Mike336 on October 26, 2009 01:13 PM
Who was endorsed by the lovely NARAL
Once the votes were all counted
His run looked to be aborted
But then Christine Gregoire showed him how to let dead-people-and-felons-vote-and-how-to-use-the courts-to-cheat-so-he suddenly came out ahead,
what a pal. Posted by: Macaw on October 26, 2009 02:54 PM
A tale of a lying Dow.
He say he'll reform out King County,
but what has he done till now?
He ran up and debt and couldn't care,
What reason should he have?
He as treacherous as gangs of youth,
running up an down the ave.
No tax relief, no crime relief, not single luxury.
He's not got time for little folks,
voters like you or me.
To keep mediocrity at bay
The county risks flooding
With budgets exploding
Yet insults are all he can say Posted by: Leatherman on October 27, 2009 10:15 AM
Dow likes to talk bike
He really is green
in front of the mikes!
But...
Mr. Dow is driving to town
He's driving when it's raining
and when the sun is out
But he's a real greenie
At least that's what he shouts!
Dow likes to talk bus
Dow likes to talk bike
He really is green
in front of the mikes!
But...
Mr. Dow is driving to town
He's driving when it's raining
and when the sun is out
But he's a real greenie
At least that's what he shouts!
(apologies to all)
A man whose name is Dow
Calls his opponent a big red Cow!
So pretty am I!
Said that good looking guy.
When I look in the mirror,
I say "OW" !
You really are a heel.
You're as truthful as a cockroach,
You're as charming as an eel.
Constantine.
You're a faux Progressive
With a high whiny squeal.
You're a politician, Constantine.
Your heart's an empty hole.
Your brain is full of ferries,
But you don't like flood control.
Constantine.
I wouldn't touch you, with a
thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole.
You're a vile one, Constantine.
You have termites in your smile.
You have all the tender sweetness
Of a seasick crocodile.
Constantine.
Given the choice between the two of you
I'd take the seasick crocodile.
You're a foul one, Constantine.
You're a nasty, nasty punk.
Your heart is full of unwashed socks
Your soul is full of gunk.
Constantine.
The three words that best describe you,
are, and I quote: "Stink. Stank. Stunk."
You're a rotter, Constantine.
You're the blackest of all pots
Gave Ross Hunter a nasty swat
Hope he forgives you... Not!
Constantine.
Your brain is an apalling dump heap overflowing
with the most disgraceful assortment of deplorable
rubbish imaginable,
Mangled up in tangled up knots.
You nauseate me, Constantine.
An environmental hypocrite
Who talks up rail and bike and bus
But drives a car - just like us.
Constantine.
Those who've bought and paid for you
Are all you have for friends.
Constantine.
With apologies to Dr. Seuss (and the Grinch!)
Posted by: Grinch on October 27, 2009 08:24 PMOh unbeautiful tarnished patriot dreams
That fails to see beyond human years
So I'm moving to the Alabaster city
Alabama has the Crimson Tide no more Husky tears!
Alabama! Alabama!
Dow too makes me want to move
Alabama is currently ranked number two
Going to join the southern jubilee!
...one more time now!
Posted by: Crimson Tide on October 28, 2009 06:19 AM